Where Did the Night Go? A Rant in Three Courses

Published 18.06.2025 - Part 1 of 2

Remember late nights? Remember eating dinner at 9PM without feeling like a social deviant or getting side-eyed by the bartender because you had the audacity to want a steak when they were clearly hoping for crisps and a lock-up? 

Late-night hospitality in the UK is dying. Or worse—being slowly smothered under a weighted blanket of early bird specials, Deliveroo discounts, and working-from-home-induced inertia. And I want to know: what the hell happened?

The Curious Case of the 7PM Supper Club

Somehow, somewhere, dining between 7PM and 7:30PM became the thing. The prime time. The sweet spot. Want to book at 8:15? Sorry, mate. Try next Tuesday. At 6PM? We’ve got you, pensioner. Anything past 8:45? No chance. Apparently, that’s when the chairs get flipped and the music to a cleaning playlist.

I tried to be social this past week. Multiple bookings, different friends, different parts of the city. Full-on butterfly mode. And every single platform told me the same thing: “No tables available.” Not at 8. Not at 9. Not even at 10 for a dirty martini and a snack. Did the restaurants shut down? Is everyone asleep? Or have the booking platforms simply decided that if you’re not dining with the blue rinse brigade, you’re not dining at all?

I used to block out 7PM tables on purpose so I could get two full seatings. And guess what? We didn’t need to threaten guests with a £20 booking fee or a £40 cancellation charge to get them to show up. We just made sure it was worth coming.

Blame It on the PJs: Working From Home Isn’t Helping

Let’s talk about the quiet killer: remote work. The rise-and-roll lifestyle. From work sweats to even comfier sweats. Slippers on by 5PM. Why would anyone get dressed up to go out when you can recline on your sofa, perfect your yawning technique, and tuck into a frozen pizza that claims to be "hand-stretched artisan" but looks like regret in cardboard form?

The new indulgence isn’t a late-night steak. It’s staying in with lukewarm noodles and Season 4 of whatever. Comfort is king. Culture is a distant memory.

Kitchen Closes When?

Here’s another gem: restaurants listing closing times as 11PM, but the kitchen shuts at 9:45. Excuse me?

If the sign says 11, then be open until 11. I remember when a guest could walk in at 10:55 and still get the full experience—menu, drinks, dessert, the whole nine yards. Did my team shoot daggers at me? F*** yeah, they did. But they also knew I was staying with them until the end. Because that’s what leadership looked like. And also, I had the biggest set of keys.

This isn’t complicated. If you say you’re open, be open. Don’t promise me hospitality and then give me a passive-aggressive closing time and a dry bread basket.

Let’s Make Midnight Matter Again.

You know what? I’ll wear that hat.